Weddings... Better Than The Gym

November 20, 2008

Is there anything more stressful than a wedding? At the beginning you are a confident, assertive bride to be, making decisions left, right and center, absolutely convinced that there is a secret formula for success. That all the brides having nervous breakdowns just werent as organized as you. So you make a list...but each list seems to spawn another and another and another...

This is the point where it begins to dawn on you the enormity of this undertaking. You realise that you are really going to have to dedicate an extortionate amounts of time and energy to this. Big decisions like when you want the wedding arise and everyone you ask has a different opinion. Did you want a Summer Wedding? But Spring is so much more traditional! But more chance of rain! One decision down, a thousand to go. What date? Is that convenient for Aunt Myrtle who you havent seen in 10 years and will probably never see again?

So you start the planning in earnest with something simple that needs to be done first, like the Church. Easy. Or not, what church did you want? Is it the correct denomination? What kind of service? You want it to be long enough to be meaningful but not so long that you worry about older guests dying! Thats before you even start the meetings with the Vicar to decide if this is really whats best for you when secretly, youre already starting to have your doubts.

Unfortunately this is the point where it starts to feel like you dont stand a chance. Even the most decisive couple can start to get mired in the hundreds of little decisions that accompany every big one.

It doesnt ever seem to stop. You realize that all the help people are willing to offered seems to be steeped in conditions and no one seems to understand quite how important it is to get the shade of the flowers just right and the correct tiaras for the bridesmaids and the font on the invitations just so. The list seems as equally unending as it did the day you got engaged.

All this is so you can stand up in front of your family and friends and make a commitment to the man you love is what you keep telling yourself. Until the day you look at the finalized guest list and realize that you appear to be buying dinner for several people who are virtual strangers.

So, the reason for the title?

Weddings ARE better at making you lose weight than any gym. The stress, running around, panic and (as is often the case) cold feet, combine to make having the time to eat food a fantasy and the calm to enjoy it a mere memory.

So, if there is a next time, do what I intend to do.

Hire a wedding planner from the get go and blithely walk around picking things you like, knowing that someone who knows what theyre doing will be doing the grunt work, making the annoying decisions and chasing people who just wont return your calls.

Invite only people you know and like, ignoring the pleas to be diplomatic.

While the wedding planners do the work, you can sit at home, trying cakes (for the wedding of course) and doing all the fun things that come with having a wedding. You can choose the presents you want, try on your wedding dress and, unfortunately, head to the gym. The only good news is, itll be the type of gym with a sauna...

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