Is It Advertising Or Adverteasing?

September 7, 2008

Whatever happened to truth in advertising? I live in Los Angeles, where what you see isnt necessarily what you get. Face lifts, breast implants, liposuction - were walking billboards for plastic surgery.

I often walk past an apartment complex named Ocean Heaven. It sounds heavenly, but its three blocks from the ocean.

Downtown theres a sign on a new condo complex that says Living above LA. Im not sure if that means its high living or just above the smog level.

Two stores on the same block have sale signs. One sale is described as huge and the other as colossal. I dont know which is bigger. A blow-out sale sounds bigger - unless its a fire sale.

Some signs claim they have the lowest prices, theyre never undersold or theyre liquidating. Unless were careful, were being sold a bill of goods. We need a sale on glasses so we can read the small print.

Large print on restaurants claim the worlds best hot dog, ice cream or scone. Ive tried them and I think those making the claims need to see more of the world. A bakery in Anchorage boasted the worlds best scone. It was so bad, the baker must think the worlds flat.

In catalog ads what isnt said is more important than what is said. If it doesnt say 14k gold, it isnt. If it doesnt say actual size, it isnt. Instead of giving a friend a gold bracelet for her birthday, I gave her gold-filled dental floss.

If we dont grow hair overnight, speak a foreign language in a week or get rich in thirty days, satisfaction is 100% guaranteed. Unfortunately, the majority of us dont ask for refunds unless weve spent more than twenty dollars. This guarantees satisfaction to those selling 21st century snake oil for $19.99.

Then there are the fees for handling and shipping. Am I the only one who thinks these fees are too high? If there really was truth in advertising, these fees would be for shipping and mishandling.

Advertisers can play tricks with words and make our money disappear, but we believe what we want to believe. Common sense tells us that pills wont magically make us lose weight, but we buy them anyway. Its easier to take pills than to change our lifestyle. Its easier to pull the wool over our eyes than to pull on last years bathing suit.

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