Most of us were brought up to believe there was a single entity called a Good Husband. Yet there are actually two very different kinds of good husbands: the Boyfriend and the Husband. The former is everything youve wanted since you were 15: sexy, spontaneous, irresistible. He makes you laugh, makes you shiver, makes you mad as hell. The thing is, he never quite pictured himself as a husband and father, and deep down he still doesnt. When youre trying to explain the concept of equal parenting or picking up his wet towels from the floor, you wonder: Did I make the biggest mistake of my life?
The Husband is your best buddy, a man you can count on to walk the baby at 3 am, research Consumer Reports for the safest car and even buy you tampons on the way home. Yes, sex is more tender than thrilling, but isnt that to be expected with time? Still, sometimes you wonder if marriage should have more pizzazz, mystery... WifeAdvice.com - funny marriage stories from a clueless husband :: My wife digs further and further by asking the “Why did you marry me? . It’s not that I doubt that my husband loves me, all I need to do is look at him http://www.wifeadvice.com/2007/10/lesson-8-how-do-i-love-thee-let-me-count-the-ways/HOME |
Well, yes. And Boyfriend husbands should stay home more often, too. But just as there is no one good marriage, there is no one good husband: Even the best have a B side. But how do you live with your doubts and still love and nourish the good marriage youve got? Read on...
Hes such a bad boy!
From the outside looking in, we all envy the Boyfriend Marriage - and from the inside out, it does feel as good as it looks. Romantic. Spontaneous. Magical. Right. At its best, it feels the way you were always told marriage should feel. You will have a rollickingly connected kind of marriage, like a radio that never gets turned off. And thats wonderful when the magic is working. But, if the highs are higher in this marriage, the lows are also lower.
Passion - the glue of the Boyfriend Marriage - has a downside, and it resides in its very origin: The flame that fuels it is either unfamiliarity or uncertainty. And much as we love our husbands, they do not remain an endless series of brand new revelations. Which leaves us uncertainty, for the dynamics havent changed much since your dating days. The same questions still rivet you, just beneath the surface of your everyday lives: How does he feel? How do you feel? Is he still attracted to you? Do you still love him?
But most of the time, you just love the way your heart jumps when you first catch sight of him, the way you feel walking into a room together, the rightness. Then something happens, and the balance tips - and youre back to does-he-or-doesnt-he? Are they too young to get married?; getting married young; Rabbi :: You are not fully formed when you marry. You discover life together. I did not lose my playfulness, and I could connect with them so much more http://www.beliefnet.com/story/206/story_20617_1.htmlHOME | Reasons Why Karen Shouldn't Marry Bill! - Californication Wiki:: Did you know you can edit the content of this page by clicking EasyEdit? (2) If Bill is her second husband, then she definitely should not marry him for http://californicationwiki.sho.com/page/Reasons+Why+Karen+Shouldnt+Marry+Bill!HOME |
Hes comfy and cool
Theres no question: Being married to a Husband is easier on the psyche than being married to a Boyfriend. Here, the sexual connection evolves out of a steadily growing regard, an intellectual rapport, a shared sense of humour and a profound romantic attachment. One doesnt so much fall in love as walk into it.
The downside of the Husband Marriage? The yearning to be swept away by a tidal wave of lust. And it can feel a lot worse when youre going through a period of doubts ... or when an actual person comes along who reminds you of the passion you once knew.
How to love the one youre with
No matter what the style, good marriages are based on chemistry, commitment and communication. And optimism: It helps to look at your marriage as half full rather than half empty. Loving your husband and yourself at the same time depends upon seeing him as clearly as possible, trying to forgive him for what you see that you wish you didnt, and trying to live with him in spite of it.
Given how different the Husband Marriage is from the Boyfriend Marriage, youd think theyd require vastly different strategies for long-lasting happiness. Not so. Just dont compare him to your best friends husband. Realise that a good marriage has intimacy and independence. It pays to cultivate a network of friendships and interests outside the marriage.
In the Husband Marriage, you need to find something that stirs you and allow your enthusiasm to invigorate your marriage. In the Boyfriend Marriage, you need that independence to nourish your self-esteem and to see you through rocky times.
Whichever kind of husband you married, if you want change, say the experts, take the initiative. Dont wait for him to read your mind. If you want more time for yourself, say so. If you want a hotter sex life, make the first move. And... Stay away from temptation.
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