The aim of decent listening is to gain maximum understanding. Many people home in only to the words of a speaker or to the body language or the timbre of voice and fail to listen to the entire message. To grasp a message, each of these is important.
I recommend that to hear the entire message:
1. Ponder the specific words the speaker is saying. Read between the lines and take note of context.
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2. Establish eye contact with the speaker. It is impossible to read body language without looking at the speaker. Eye contact conveys that you are listening. Eye contact says I respect what you are saying
3. Employ your mind to read his body language. You may intuitively understand it because much of what is sent nonverbally is subconsciously understood. If you think your emotions are coloring your understanding, do an awareness check. Reserve judgement till after the discussion.
4. Observe facial expressions and note how the speaker uses his hands and arms. These will betray information on his nonverbal communication.
5. Pay heed to his tone of voice. Is there consistency with his words? Or do you espy lapses ?
6. Interpret the entire message when he has done. Respond to what you think he is saying and then listen carefully to his response to you.
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Now he tells me What goes round I can relate to that. Pass How does he sleep at night? So it has. I guess thats why it was resisted so ferociously.
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Heres an exercise that can skyrocket your communication skills. The next time you visit starbucks, select a quiet spot. Order a mocha frappuccino and partially cover your face with a newspaper. Now, observe as people walk in. Watch how they communicate… the gestures they use, the experessions that cross their face.
Observe how certain, words, deeds and posture contribute to rapport- or destroy it.
Adapt your own behavior to what you observe! Emulate those that you feel will bolster understanding and rapport.
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Hmmm... Now What Does He Mean By That?